I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
