North Korea, Best Korea!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
