I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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