So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
