I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Rumble strips road head = magical
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
