"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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