Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
