too bad you live with your parents still
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
