we're blogging at a bar
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Your cock deserves a montage
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize