I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just gift wrapped bread.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
