idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
