You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
