singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
