I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I will die if light touches me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize