Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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