Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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