Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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