yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
