just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize