how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Boobs speak an international language.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
