I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
