I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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