I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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