you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize