I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
