I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
