Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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