Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
