what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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