hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
