OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
