how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
