I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
