so that wasnt chicken after all
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Houston, we have a squirter
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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