I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
