just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
