So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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