Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
