So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
