Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
