just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
