Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
