Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
