she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
