I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Your tits are I can't wait for
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
