I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
we're making bets on your personal life
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
