Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
