for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
