Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
