I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
