She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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