Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
