I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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