I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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