The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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