I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
