I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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