ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
